I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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