Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
