STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
