My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
