If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my vag is so smooth its legendary
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
