After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
