I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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