I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
