The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
