Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
