Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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