Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
