Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Alive.
So much puke
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
