I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
