I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
