WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
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