dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
