Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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