found the other keg... it's in the tree
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
