PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
