I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
