took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
