grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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