is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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