Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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