We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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