just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
