If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
