There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She has the best kind of daddy issues
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
