even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
