Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
