fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
