first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
