I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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