dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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