I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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