i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
