I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
of course. lets lasso hookers.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
