i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Can you repeat that, but with context?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
