Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
