separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
