maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
