She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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