Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
