so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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