I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
