Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
