Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
