Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
