I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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