I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
