Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
