if i can run in heels then i can drive
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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